If you could know the absolute truth to one question, what would it be?

 

 

Today is the 23^rd of May 2026. I am 20 years old.

 

I am always going to start these off writing the first thing that comes in my head. I want to know what the “real me” is thinking. Maybe it will help me figure out who I am or whatever.

 

I think I’ve always questioned the meaning of life. Boring answer, I know, but that’s what it is. The meaning of life feels like the only important answer to this question.

 

You wake up, shower, brush your teeth, work, feel insecure, have sex(sometimes). You get married, fall over, have kids, learn how to drive, learn how to be happy. Why?

Is the answer some intricate, detailed, scientific reason? Or is it simply because you’re meant to do it? Why do you need to understand sadness to feel happy? Why do you need to understand loss to experience love? What really matters, what is really, REALLY Important about being alive? Who knows. Who. Fucking. Cares. I’m sure when we die, we will all find this answer, but until that moment here’s what I think.

 

The answer is just as boring as the question. Do whatever the fuck you want, whatever you feel. Do whatever you need to do, to get where YOU feel you want to be. The only way to live wrong, is to try to live like others, to try being who you’re not meant to be. If one this in life is certain (other than death), its that no one else knows the answer to the question either.

 

I promise you that the rich, skinny, tall, beautiful woman that lives down the road. The one with the perfect routine, the perfect skin, the perfect skin, the perfect husband? She doesn’t know the answer either! What she does know, is she did whatever she needed to do, does whatever she needs to do, to live the life she wants to.

 

On the flip side, here’s the life I want, here’s what I think the meaning of life is. If anyone else ever reads this and decides I am all knowing, and feels the need to follow MY rules, read it again. Theres a chance that in ten years I will read this and completely disagree. You want to know why? Right now, I’m writing down what I want right now, what I feel right now, where I want to be. Right. Now. 

In everything I have experienced, love and pain are what’s most prevalent of me. I want the meaning of life, to be about love and loss. I’m not talking about lovey dovey bullshit either.

 

I want to love who I am, I want to know my mothers pain brought me into this world. I want to be grateful for the love I have experienced, the love I’m yet to experience. I want to know I’m loved. I want to know I’ve loved and lost. I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost family, I’ve lost jobs, I’ve lost motivation. I lost so much, but what is love without loss. I want to love my life, I want to have a family I love, want to have a job I love, a partner I love. I want to love my mind, to love my body, to love my strength.

 

The meaning of life to ME, is finding what you love, finding what you need to survive, and fucking holding on for dear life. On the flip side, if you lose this thing, don’t dwell on why, don’t dwell on what you could have done better. Look back on the memories of what you created, what you built, what you sacrificed, what you achieved, and be proud. Pobody’s Nerfect!

 

This could just be a load of shit I wrote down, but it was MY shit to write down. In a few years ill have no idea why I wrote this down, what it means. That doesn’t matter. I know why I wrote this down today.